Couples Counseling
When does it stop being a rough patch and start being a rough relationship?
How long is too long to be unhappy? Are you tired of having the same fight over and over? Or just fighting over nothing – or everything?
It starts with something small.
Your partner left their dishes in the sink.
Again.
Why can’t they just do this one little thing? It could just be forgetfulness, but it feels like disrespect. Disregard for your home, for your lives together.
When your home is in disarray, you feel off kilter.
The little seed of resentment is planted.
And it grows.
Every time they come home from work in a mood and are short with you.
Every time they sigh when you ask them to help out around the house.
Every time they use cold logic in a disagreement when you just want to be heard.
It starts to feel like there’s so much space between you.
You think back wistfully to when you were new, infatuated. You were so in love, couldn’t keep your hands off each other, and stayed up all night just talking. You wanted to spend every spare second with one another. It felt magical.
How did it get like this?
Relationships change
Sometimes there are too many needs pulling you in different directions. You both start to take each other for granted; you stop going on dates and stop showing affection day-to-day.
You forget to make your partner a priority.
What used to be endearing is now grating. Little things each day show their disregard for you, their selfishness, their laziness.
But it doesn’t have to be this way.
In my office I teach that the word love is a verb.
Love is something that has to be built up each day. It grows with gestures of affection, kind words, appreciation, and intimacy. It is torn down with criticism, disregard, cold shoulders, and insults.
Building a life with another person is hard.
It is devastating when it feels like it’s all wrong.
But it is so rewarding when it goes right.
Having a loving, fulfilling relationship is a skill that can be learned.
I teach couples the skills to communicate effectively, to respect one another’s perspectives, and to set healthy boundaries.
All couples are going to have disagreements sometimes, and I teach you to fight fair – to ask for what you need and how to help your partner feel loved.
I help you change the habits and behaviors in your relationship that are toxic.